Ethan Saenz | December

I look up at the stars that don’t exist. I left the bar, needed some fresh air. My face is warm and rosy.

There’s a girl outside. She’s smoking golds. Sir, can I wear your jacket? My fiancé hates when I smoke. He leaves me out in the cold. When my lips turn blue he opens the door and says see how much you need me. It’s true. I need him. And we belong to each other.

I wrap my coat around her. No. No no no. Fuck that. Listen to me. Fuck that. You belong to you. Please listen to me okay. You belong to you and nobody else.

I drove to Kansas. Needed a change. There’s a buck on the road. I could hit it with my car. Skin it. Sell the meat and the antlers. But I am not reduced to such brutality. Except the thing is, it’s freezing cold in December.

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