Transcript Snippet #47 | CARMELO SUAREZ TESTIMONY | December 1994

Transcript Snippet #47 | CARMELO SUAREZ TESTIMONY | December 1994


I stopped asking, why me? Something impossible happened and it happened to me.

There was a rabbit at the edge of the bridge and I approached it and the sky did not fit. Why this vision? Why now? So much sky I was afraid of it. The moon did not arrive but the color changed and suddenly trees swayed in from my purview. Dancing. I looked inward and I felt hollowed out. As if there was no more mystery within me. As if flayed fully open for exhibition. Seen through. I wanted to weep but no tears came. The body, incapable of summoning any will. The trees continued. I opened my mouth but no words came. The trees stopped like a photograph and I could no longer tell where the trees started and the night began. All I could see were a pair of eyes. Twin pools of light glowing out of the dark and fixed only on me. Unblinking. Unfeeling. Eternal.

I looked to my legs but they did not move. I was frozen in place like a photograph. Like a photograph. Neither living nor dead. Just in place.

I woke up in my bed on Saturday morning, and laid there for hours. I missed my Saturday morning cartoons. I felt like a photograph for a long time. Flat and empty and frozen in time. On display.

When I close my eyes, I still feel the stare. Those eyes are still watching me.

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